Introducing: You Can Climb Whatever You Like

#Desertvibes, or whatever. Tom Moulin and I spending the first days of 2021 completely ignoring the splitter cracks at Cat Wall and setting up a bunch of SICK topropes, because we were too lazy to go get the pads out of the vans.

Last week, I found myself in Moab.

Not exactly known for my crack prowess, I wasn’t here for some sick splittah’s, or to #gethigh on some even sicker desert towers. I was here to laugh.

I came off a shorter-than-expected season at Mt. Charleston, Nevada, with a win, and a loss. Nearly five months of being without work, and still with no real plan in sight, the anxiety of “what to do” began to strengthen, and position its way in front of my mind, filling the space left by the end of a projecting cycle.

I craved something lighter, and so, showed up at my best friend’s house.

Maggie lives in a walk in community in Moab, which is lovely and quaint, but really annoying when you forget something in your car. She, for reasons I still don’t really understand, hasn’t had internet for as long as I have ever visited her here. The “modern homesteader,” I call her – I’m hoping to make it big with a non-fiction book I am entitling “Little House in the Hippie Walk-in Community in Moab” (it’s a work in progress).

Maggie and I feed off of each other’s wit and shared sense of humor, which I would like to think is intelligent, yet capitalizes on silly, trivial moments. It was when we both, surrounded by others, could not stop laughing while listening to James Blunt’s “You’re Beautiful” (trying, of course, to write a grief-stricken parody to routes we will never climb called “You’re Morpho”), Howie Day’s “Collide” (a love song from a climber to her crash pad) and Coldplay’s “Fix You” (about fixing ropes, naturally), that I realized, our big masterpiece, which we wrote five years ago, needed to be released. What better platform than my seldom-read, and very poorly promoted, personal blog!

So, for something different, to all of my many #instatwitter followers, I am releasing “You Can Climb Whatever You Like” to the world.

For reference – and to truly understand the depth of our magnum opus – I would suggest listening to (and carefully reading the lyrics of) T.I.’s original 2008 smash hit ” Whatever You Like” found here.



Maggie ‘effin rocking the #frontmochila technique of bouldering

You Can Climb Whatever you Like
By: Cindy Temps (MC lodegpole and dj bon gri gri)
12.6.2016. Siurana, Spain

hand jam

you know them ol’ MP randos
they tell them girls they crush
I said you can climb whatever you like
I said you can climb whatever you like
chyeahh

[chorus]
stack some pads, clip some bolts
we can place gear all night
baby you can climb whatever you like
I said you can climb whatever you like
chyeahh
late night sends, so hard to onsight
I’ll charge up the headlamp for you tonight
and baby you can climb whatever you like
I said you can climb whatever you like
chyeahhh

I want your rack, I need your rack
as long as I got you I can jam some cracks
you want a catch, I got it
go send it, I’ll TR it
sandbag them other gumbies who get on it

[chorus]
stack some pads, clip some bolts
we can place gear all night
baby you can climb whatever you like
I said you can climb whatever you like
chyeahh
late night sends, so hard to onsight
I’ll charge up the headlamp for you tonight
and baby you can climb whatever you like
I said you can climb whatever you like
chyeahhh

I’ll gas up the van for you tonight
and baby you can climb wherever you like

shawty you the strongest
love the way you chalk up
lead head so good could’ve sworn you went to college
deep water solo vacay in the tropics
and everyone know you’re trying hard if you’re falling
you ain’t never gotta ask for beta on your project
as long as I’ve got the MP app in my pocket
sprinter with clearance and a gear closet

you ain’t gotta downgrade
I can aid what you free
my chick can climb what she want
and go in any store for any cam she wants
I know you ain’t never had a partner like that
to belay you on anything you want like that

I want those jugs, I need those jugs
as long as I got those I won’t get pumped
limestone, granite, sandstone, you got it
tell them other gym rats don’t try it

[chorus]
I said you can climb whatever you like
chyeahh
late night sends, so hard to onsight
I’ll charge up the headlamp for you tonight
and baby you can climb whatever you like
I said you can climb whatever you like
chyeahhh

takin’ big boy whips on long hard lines
let me put this big bro in your life
pro so bomber and fits so right
let me put this big bro in your life, that’s right

I want those nuts, I need those nuts
as long as I place them so they don’t get stuck
figure 8, I’ll check it
you lead it, I’ll clean it
tell them other dirtbags be quiet

[chorus]
stack some pads, clip some bolts
we can place gear all night
baby you can climb whatever you like
I said you can climb whatever you like
chyeahh
late night sends, so hard to onsight
I’ll charge up the headlamp for you tonight
and baby you can climb whatever you like
I said you can climb whatever you like
chyeahhh

hand jam

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